why can't i figure out the internet and where can i get a screenname

WHO AM I?

How to Pick an Original Screename

A screen name can be compared to a pen name, except that you use it to identify yourself online. Unlike a username, its purpose is not so much to identify you to a website but to identify you to others, often on forums, instant messaging, and blogs.

Steps
1. Reflect your personality. Use words that describe you. If you are an obsessive word addict, go to a rare words dictionary and find a word that describes you.
2. Associate it with a hobby or interest, especially if it's something you chat and write a lot about online. Use the name of a band you appreciate in a particular genre, or the brand of a wine you cherish but that isn't very well known.
3. Tap into your sense of humor. Irony and wittiness are memorable. (E.g. SkyisFalling)
4. Do some research. If you're passionate about Brazil, for example, search the web for names of flowers, warriors, or folk tale characters from the Amazon.
5. Cross the language barrier, look up words in other languages.
4. Don't be afraid to incorporate your middle name. While you may not like it, it could make an interesting and unique screenname.
5. Think of synonyms (or use a synonym finder) for something that isn't original. Example: pastalover101 turns into AdoreNoodles101.
6. A random word generator could give you some ideas.